mother's day

With all the mush and the marketing around Mother's day, saw something a friend had forwarded that got me intensely aware of how much i miss mom.

And its strange how the anger, the guilt, the criticism I vehemently voiced around her parenting, all get washed away by one overwhelming need to just hear her voice one more time.

Being in the Moment

Had a very interesting conversation today around what a vacation holds for us. A conversation very relevant because this week for the first time in my life i am going on a solo holiday to Goa. A permission i could give myself because the daughter is away on her own holiday with people i love and trust. And because i am exhausted and drained to my very bones.

As much as I am excited with the idea, of being in a quiet place, close to water, there are countless what ifs buzzing thru my head. What if this holiday does NOTHING to re-energize me? What if i am unable to take myself to the pool? What if i crash badly one of the days? What if I feel sick because yet again i have taken recourse to food to numb myself? What if the work waiting to be finished when I get back makes me deeply regret taking this much needed break?

And as I lay out these What ifs, the other person asks me gently - What if you drop all the agenda, the structure and stay in the moment? What if this holiday is nothing but an attempt towards discovery? What if all i did was stay in the now and see what emerges - how i feel, what i think and simply notice?

And though all she asked me were questions - they strangely seemed to answer my own What ifs!

Challenging perfection

A year ago, my scanty, wavy, frizzy hair became smooth and silky and straight, thanks to a salon treatment i opted for. It felt strange - a strangeness that was abetted by the compliments that came my way from people who mattered. Everyone seemed to love it - well, almost. The strongest voice of disapproval came from my teenage daughter - all of 13 and an amazing young lady - she felt my hair had lost character and the new look made me, well, not me.

And it was just her constant asking me when i would look "normal" that bothered me. What also bothered me was the amount of chemicals that i seemed to now douse my hair with - chemicals to hold the look just a bit longer, chemicals to maintain the sheen, and the chemicals made me feel confident as much as they made my hair feel abused. In my mind, i seemed to fit the much accepted norm of how professional women ought to look. It was almost as if, my qualification, my competence, my skill were all accentuated by the myth of what perfect hair is supposed to be.

It's been a year now. I have given up on the chemicals so now its a strange combination of wavy and straight and strangely stiff and frizzy - its as if, my hair finally decided to voice her protest. While I don't blame my hair, i do feel a sense of shame, a deep shame when I look into the mirror.

In a way, the hair seems to symbolize my femininity and with it, a reminder of how much time i took to accept what is and drop the ideals of perfection. At this point of time in my life, as I am working on letting go, of being more accepting of myself, my needs, I cant even remember what I used to look like before i got this hair treatment done. Just like I don't even know where to begin as a drop the mask of "good wife" and reclaim myself and work out a different way of relating with family. 

At this stage, the idea of shaving my head is very tempting - curious as I am about what might then emerge in the new me. I am also petrified as to how much of me would get exposed in this simple act. The thought of how long it would take before my hair grew to any length that is "feminine" and acceptable is frankly quite frightening.

Never before was it this obvious to me - how much of my identity of being a woman, of beauty is tied to my hair. A few months ago, a good friend shared how her teenage daughter went and shaved her head to challenge her own notions of beauty. And as i stand gazing at my reflection, seeing my frizzy, greying, scanty hair peek from underneath, I whisper a prayer that i may connect to that fearless, bold energy in me. And in this tiny act of courage, let go of some of the shame i hold about my female body.

2019 - an odd year to look forward to

2018 was a year of abundance, and a year of living life in a blur - given the pace, the diverse opportunities that came my way, the long travels. I did well, really well with showing up. And i failed miserably on being anchored around the intentions that i set for myself. So come 2019, that's what i really would like to change.

Over delicious dinner and comforting conversations with old old friends, i got the much needed space to reconnect with my core and really articulate what's important to me.

Here's what emerged as my intentions for 2019:
- Be brave
- Love my body
- Flow

While i was wondering how i would seed this intention for myself, a poem i had written while experiencing a healing process and completely forgot about, popped up. And to me, it seemed the best possible expression of my intentions. So here it is:

Dance
Dance to the beat of your heart
To the rhythm of your soul
To the call of the body
as she dreams to be whole.

Dance.
Dance with your arms outstretched
to mirror the expansiveness that is you
No need to slump and hide
As life calls out anew.

Dance.
Dance with the lightness of a feather,
Unbounded, soft and free.
Celebrate the being that you are now,
A rooted, strong tree.

Dance.
Dance to live
Dance past the pain.
Dance to be seen,
let go of the shame.
Dance to celebrate,
this spirit that's born again.
And despite the challenges that come your way,
Remember as you show up each day,
To dance.
Simply dance.

10 Days of Self-care

On my way home after having spent 10 days at RK nature cure centre. This has been the first of its kind for me and also hugely inspired by my dear friend Bhanu who has such commitment to her health.

While the first three days, I kept thinking of my decision as a huge step towards self care and self love, over the 10 days, I feel like I have developed a new relationship with my body. The first three days were really tough given the tea deprivation headaches I got, as were the last two days when I just craved for my normal routine back home. Despite these tough times, I feel this was one of those rare times when my body led the day and not my mind.

The most significant insight for me at the end of this period has been: To eat food based on what my stomach needs and not allowing my head or even my heart to take that call - The generous portions of fruits, steamed veggies, juices - none that the head or the heart would have chosen - left my body feeling healthy and energetic. It helped me get a sense of the amount of food my body needs to work well through the day. It was also interesting to experience the body go through specific breaks between different meals. To actually create a gap of  14 hours between dinner and breakfast was surprisingly easy ( when done the right way). It was after the longest time that I was having every single meal at the table, sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend, and not in front of the screen.

This helped me get a more real sense of how my body was experiencing the food.

The other interesting learning was slowing down in exercise. And in each stretch, each aasan to pay attention to the breath. The slowing down while it got me more aware of how much addicted I am to multitasking or act with a sense of urgency, it also helped me notice my body in a different way. There were things I noticed that I didn't like - the flab, the loss of flexibility, and yet despite that to pamper the body with the daily massage, was an act of deep acceptance.

I am leaving the place with a new relationship with my body and with  food. I am also inspired to live life with a focus on wellness. Hoping to sustain this once I am back in the much missed home and routine! 

That's why it's Magic!

The blessings of having a book worm, nay, a book dragon for a daughter is the amazing range of literature she has been introducing to me - specially so in the last two years. Thanks to her incessant demand that her mum should read more fiction and the fabulous library her school houses, I've discovered authors, plots, narrative styles and just sheer magic in so many places. 

Last year, there were a spate of books that made me cry my heart out. Think the kiddo saw I needed something that would lift my spirits up and come this new year, she left on my bed this book by Kate DiCamillo . 

A simple tale, with the power of hope, belief and compassion, The Magician's Elephant reminded me about the simple, yet deeply imaginative worlds that children (and the child part of grown-ups) live in. As much as I resonated with the magician's desire to do something extraordinary, so did I with the elephant's longing for home and finding connection under the most unlikely circumstances.


Some of the lines that lingered after I had finished the book:

"Leo Matienne had the soul of a poet, and because of this, he liked very much to consider questions that had no answers.”

"It is important that you say what you mean to say. Time is too short. You must speak the words that matter."

“We must ask ourselves these questions as often as we dare. How will the world change if we do not question it?"

2018 - here I come!

I LOVE NEW YEARS DAY! and the ones heralding an even numbered one is specially my favourite.

I know I've had friends and colleagues saying - "big deal, its just a date". While earlier it was enough to trigger a rant from me, right now I am able to just aspect that attitude being another option as much as my own YAY-a-new-year-is beginning-here-I-come!!

Of course I make resolutions, of course they start to fade away, and yet each new year's day, I am filled with a renewed sense of hope and possibilities. And irrespective of what friends say, this sense of hope, of getting another fresh shot at life is a feeling i zealously guard coz optimism otherwise doesn't come this easy to me!

For the last two years, instead of setting resolutions, I have been setting intentions for myself. A three word piece that helps me anchor my focus for the rest of the year.

for 2018 my intention is:
- Creative
- Mindfulness
and
- Health.

Lets see how the rest of the year unfolds.

Music Flashback

Driving back late evening after an invigorating dance class, wanting to listen to the radio to relax. The FM channel declares "Flashback Hour". I smile - a B&W visual of Madhubala and Kishore Kumar on a boat as I ready myself to listen to "haal kaisa hai janab ka".....

Instead what pops up on radio is a song from Dil toh pagal hai (the title track) followed by a passionate rendering of Aye ajnabi tu bhi kabhi avaaz de kahi se (Dil Se). When did these become flashback?!!! I mean these are movies I've watched in theaters with friends back in college. These are from the motley of songs I would hum all day thinking of my crushes.....

As the third song pops up - Anna mere pyar ko na tum (Kabhi haa Kabhi na), I'm like - oh so flashback hour is a Shahrukh special.....when did Shahrukh become so old. WAIT A MINUTE - when did i grow so old 😲 . And if the 1990s are the flashback - whatever happens to all those Bhoole Bisre Geet numbers are grew up listening to.....

There was only one way to deal with this existential crisis - turn the radio off and on the top of my voice sing this for the rest of the ride home!

The grass on either side.........

Was facilitating a workshop on Narrative leadership the other day. When it came to me sharing my own experiences as examples of my own leadership, all stories seemed to be from the time that I was at Magic Puddles. Professionally while there was a lot of joy in being in the role of co-founder, it was extremely challenging. Working with really young kids, being responsible for their safety, building a team, supporting them through their high and lows while I grappled with my own - all a recipe for huge personal turmoils. However, given the level of challenges, it was an immersive experience. I could never really switch off from that - no matter what time of the day or even if we were on a so-called summer break. The immersion helped me hone my leadership by challenging me in very new and different ways on several occasions. Also regular monthly income was something that really helped!

In comparison, the last three years of being solo, of collaborating with peers and not really building an organization or team, has been a lot more easy personally. As a professional, there has been a call to stop playing small, with no one to hide behind. I  experience a lot of freedom - specially to what i can say yes or no to. And yes, its a lot easier to walk away from something I don't enjoy, its equally tough to walk into something I really wish for myself. There is a lot less control over how projects go with multiple stakeholders coming into the picture. I have more scope to experiment, idea to something tangible is a shorter journey. But with each idea wanting to be birthed, often I find myself really alone in taking it through as I grappled with unpredictable work load and income.

Will I continue to play solo or move towards building an organization - at this point, I really don't know. All I know is, having been on either sides of the fence, there is no such thing as "greener grass"! Its just which landscape seems more inviting. And even as I enjoy being on one specific side for now, i do trust that if there is a need to be on the other, the universe will show up something!

and that's how we get it moving!

Nia all of 12 is back from school. She has a ritual - 45 mins of reading with her evening snack to wind down - then get on with chores for the evening - her dance practice, bath, a little bit of homework and getting ready for the next day.

I try not to schedule meetings around the time she comes. I love hanging out with her - getting snippets about how her 2 days at school have been, how mine have been (and an occasional lecture about something she missed doing before she left for school).

Nia, of course, has no intention of engaging. She zealously guards her me-time (something I am hoping she'll remember to do all her life). So today, as i am continuing to play mamma - she fervently appeals to me, "Mamma please fix my snacks so that I can start my quiet time. I have grand plans for the evening - i need to do this and that and this and that," and in the same breath she adds, "And you right now are my weakest link!" 

Even as I burst out laughing at this absolute bang-on focus to get things moving for herself, this was enough to get me moving!

A sacred space

Working from home has its many benefits. Specially when I am blessed with a house and green community as beautiful as ours. The pain point does seem to be how blurred the boundaries become - between work and family, between my time and work time, between what to focus on vs everything else that seems unfinished around the house.

It took me a while to figure this out for myself - the shift i needed to make is to accept this reality and then create clearer boundaries (first in my head and then for the rest of the family). Step 1: creating a clear physical boundary - to have a room only for work. Sure it meant taking over the guest room - and then having to give away our room when friends and family came visiting. But it has been truly worth the trade off!

After the physical space was carved out, what helped me create an energetic boundary has been this special altar in one corner of the room. Each morning begins with attending to the altar, lighting the dhoop stick and taking in all the symbols and meanings of what I have placed there. The altar anchors me in my work world. In times of stress and confusion, it helps me anchor in myself. And it serves as a constant reminder to send out gratitude for the many blessings in life (including this very house!)

Lessons from my little Buddha

I am in Delhi over the last weekend - a rather unusual work commitment. Nia is excited about coming and picking me at the airport. The practical, sensible me of course thinks its an awful idea.

Here's how the conversation unfolds:

Nia: we are coming to pick you up

Me: of course not - i'll see you at home

Nia: but whyyyyyyyyy??

Me: Coz it just doesn't make sense. Its Sunday evening, you'll be tired after your dance class. Its a really long ride for Pappa. You need to pack and have your bath and figure out dinner. I'd rather have you finish all that by the time i get home so that I don't have to nag you - and then i just get relaxed time with you

Nia: Look it doesn't make sense because you club it all together. Let's deconstruct it - one problem at a time.
And over the next two minutes - she breaks it down - one issue at a time - giving very doable solutions for each:

tired after dance class - i'll take it easy
long ride - we'll leave early
you don't want to have to nag me - i take complete responsibility
dinner - pack a subway for me, i'll eat it on the way back
(you get the gist)

Me: Look can i just talk to pappa?

Nia: It'll be unfair to bring him into this discussion without giving him a background. Can you hold for a couple of minutes? (some quick whispering and mumbling) OK here you can now talk to him.


I think I am hiring this child to be my COO!

Today I wish...

Having a smart phone has many advantages but a big bummer past few months has been zero writing. Thanks to FB links and forwards, I now end up reading such well written pieces that my own musings and articulation seems to pale in comparison. Recently I ended up lecturing a friend about feeling free to express without judging and a little voice inside nudged, "how about practising what you preach?!"

So here's a re- reentry! I thought of posting some of my poetry. In the past few months, attempts at writing poetry have been a healing, creative process. I find myself stuck in a situation, a mood and attempting to express that through poetry helps me work my way through it. It's clarifying as much as it is cathartic and I love these moments I give myself. Somehow limited exposure to poetry has somehow created a mindset in me that I need to rhyme. Only once have I written a piece when there was no such compulsion and here it is:

Today  I wish ...

Today  I wish to bind myself to the  earth,

Though I see the unending free skies stretching overhead.

Today I wish my hair strikes roots in the ground,

Though the winds strain to caress it.

Today I wish my feet get swallowed by the wet mud,

Though the dew kissed grass offers soft solidness.  

And though the thoughts scamper like restless squirrels on the branches,

Today I wish to be like a tree, 

grounded, and quietly swaying to the rhythms of the seasons. 

P. S. my little girl, nia also seems to enjoy writing poetry and has been planning to blog herself. Can't wait to see her foray into the world of writing and blogging! 

Resolution for 2013

Finding me

 

In others I've sought to find myself

How meaningless that now seems to be

For it took me away from my own inner world

That nurtured the introverted part of me.

 

Am I doing enough for him? for her?  for them?

These questions now need to change

It's time to try out some new rules

Even though they may seem a bit strange

 

Going silent than talking things out

Seems to be the way of the world

That I am now beginning to grasp

As I console within me this girl

Who always thought that confronting helped

in healing relationships that matter

But that seems far from the truth

Now shoved beneath safe chatter.

 

I am learning how we all have our own versions of truth.

Between two truths what's truer - who's to say!

And self disclosure and confronting seem rather naive

It's time for me to find a wiser way

to sort thru the complications of these relationships

To make meaning of my life

To think through what it truly means to be me

and not just a friend, a mother, a wife.

 

To find myself I seek solitude now

To dive into my own inner world where I belong

The relationships, the reaching out can wait for a bit

While I create my own rhythm, my song!

 

Shadow Work & Poetry

End of 2012 - beginning 2013 - I see myself equally drawn to Jung's work and expression through poetry. I love the way Jungian analysts write - such richness and depth in their writing and at the same time - wirtten in ways that non-jungians can get.

My current favourite author - James Hollis - his book on working with the Shadow is definitely worth a read. Post reading that book - I have a way of working with what happens within me everything I expereince a strongly negative reaction instead of focusing on the outside. Sure, its wok for a lifetme - but I am able to see how I am able to work through some tough things within and emerge feeling a little more whole, a little more clearer and a lot more peaceful!

So here's a poetry that emerged from my last such journey within (written in my room in Bangladesh):

In the Shadows of Silence.....

On a quiet afternoon, in an even quieter room,

I sat by myself in anger and despair
triggered by feeling isolated in a strange land,
craving for some conversation but no one to share.

It was then that my eye caught this waterbird –

Alone in the paddy field, motionless it stood
As I marvelled its stillness, its focus,
it seemed to telling me that I too should
stay still a while and go past the tears
to truly hear the crying of the soul
to confront what lies in the shadows within me
and listen to my silenced truths now waiting to be told.

It was then that I met this little child in me –

Scared, feeling unloved and even blamed
for the conflicts at home that she felt had to be sorted
and feeling confused why among adults no words were exchanged.

The silence seemed so threatening to her back then;

Eroding the sense of security that only family can bring
She dared not confront the grown-ups why they weren't talking ,
Yet she desperately searched for words for her to cling.
Clear loud words that would tell her she's not to be blamed
That the love and security she needn't ever doubt
Or even whispered words behind closed doors
that would give clues of conversations, of fights sorted out.
Of course those words never came - loud nor soft.
The wounds of that time partly healed, partly festering
It was then that I began to fully grasp for the first time
why with loved ones, I find silence so unsettling.

So I sat besides this child – still feeling abandoned and lost

and broke the silence to tell her that her grief I shared
I held her with my strength, my love, my wisdom
as I talked to her so she knows that i cared.

I spoke of how conversations needn't be only outside;

Of how within me there was this rich inner world
That held enough words of love, of support and safety
both for me the grown woman, and for the little girl.

Slowly the child within me felt understood,

And on the outside - me the woman - hopeful and light
Knowing that there would be many more such conversations
For now the silence, the aloneness seemed alright.

 

Back from Hampi

I am finding myself wanting more and more to look at creative ways of self expression and one of them has been poetry. Encouraged by a friend to do more of it, here's what emerged after a three day lovely break @ Hampi with family & friends.

Stories from Hampi

If only these rocks could speak

What stories would they choose to tell?

Of the many events they bore silent witness to
Events that even history has dispelled

Would they choose to talk of brothers

Vali and Sughriva locked in a fight for life
Or of the devoted Laxmana following Rama
As he crossed these lands in search of his wife

Or perhaps the tale would be of sisters

Who for insulting these very lands,
Were cursed to become the Akka – Tangi Betta
Frozen in eternal rest, they now stand!

Maybe the folklore of the chieftains Hukka and Bukka

Is what the rocks might want to share
Who made this very land their kingdom
On sighting the hound being chased by the hare.

Or maybe history would take precedence over myths

Stories of Krishnadevaraya, the King
His bravery, his religious tolerance , love for poetry
Songs in his praise the rocks would sing!

Would they, then,  swell up with pride

As they begin to share the many forms
Of prosperity that radiated in this kingdom
In its bazaars, its streets, its religious icons

And then would they start to mourn

The fall of this prosperous, mighty empire
Ruthlessly plundered by the Sultanate’s men
Then left to burn for months in the fire.

Ah! Those tales of religious intolerance,

Of greed, that these rocks could tell -
Even in today’s times, several centuries later
Those stories would still ring a bell

But the rocks know that history repeats

That man from his mistakes learns less and less
So these rocks withhold their stories, their wisdom
And continue to stand in mute witness.

 

 

100 kilometres | team of 4 | 48 hours

Thats the Oxfam trailwalker– an event I participated in early this year. An event where a team of 6 of us friends (4 walkers and 2 as support team) participated under the name Terra Trots.  The amazing statistics of this first of its kind event organized by Oxfam in India:

No of teams registered – 80

No of 4-member teams who completed- 41

% of individuals who completed (not as intact teams) close to 85%

The data that was highlighted at the finish point was obviously around the time records that these amazingly persistent  teams had accomplished:

Fastest all men’s team (Confident flying feet) –20 hours 36 minutes

Fastest veteran team  (Protek) – 24 hours 16 minutes

Fastest mixed team  (March of the Penguins) –  28 hours 28 minutes                    

Fastest Women’s team  (Terra Trots) – 44 hours 36 minutes

We got our name up on that chart despite being among the possibly last 10% of the participants as far as speed goes was only because we were the only all women’s team among those registered that had completed the entire walk as a full team of 4. Back then, when we saw this table we laughed.

It didn’t seem as funny to me anymore when my team received an invite to the Oxfam awards night. I mean hadn’t ANYONE noticed the time we took? And there was this loud judging voice that said, “ NO WAY, I cannot go for this event. For one – I certainly don’t want to be the butt of sexist jokes!”

But Terra Trots did attend that event early today. Where did that shift happen for me?

Honestly, from the way I started when I first decided to participate in this event, that I would complete the walk seemed an unachievable goal even an hour before the walk (and of course several times during the walk itself). But even today, months after the event, the energetic high I feel when I think of having actually completed it and the warmth I feel listening to what it meant to my team members – now THAT is worth celebrating. I know that something deep within shifted for each one of us – as we were preparing and planning for the walk, as we walked and as we met a couple of times after the event to celebrate as a team.

So showing up today for me was truly to celebrate the spirit that Terra Trots carried through the event and after – the spirit that in some ways still sneaks up in what we feel about ourselves, and the various roles we hold in our personal and professional spaces.

Also, showing up today was for me was to reinforce to myself that while mainstream definitions of success have their own value, can we all also celebrate those achievements that do not fit the mainstream measuring scales? The way we pushed our own self-limiting beliefs through the preparation and the event, the courage with which we challenged the strength of friendships within the team as we put it through this kind of endurance, the humility with which we accepted different ways of being and giving in a team – all these were our achievements, immeasurable by any scales, and truly worth celebrating.

And finally showing up today was for me to remind myself – that no matter what the end goal is – challenging self-limiting beliefs, strengthening relationships, dealing with judgements – both inside and outside, fighting against poverty or walking 100 kilometres in 48 hours – it all comes down to taking one step at a time and staying with it.

So here’s to you Terra Trots – Navi, Anjana, Priya, Suja & Shashi for this amazing, life changing adventure!

Paying attention....

Yesterday I spent a large part of my time in a meeting where I truly had no “real” role to play. A project with multiple stakeholders where I was done with my part. But the other stakeholders seemed to be in some deadlock and I was called in by one of them – why I am still not sure. As I tried to make sense of the agenda and implicit expectations, I felt that the only real reason i was there was because someone had a need to be listened to. When that listening was not happening with one of the stakeholders, he actually hoped I would do the part – so there i was. And I listened. I am not even sure how much that listening will help – but yes, I did what seemed to be the only thing to do.

While I was listening, the thing that struck me is how much of attention we pay to the stuff that does not work out as we hoped it would. The things that go wrong. The things that need to be “fixed”. Sadly, all this attention happens at the cost of paying attention to things that actually worked or are going right. Things, which if paid complete attention to, would certainly have the potential to fix the larger problem.

With all this in my mind, I stumbled upon this Ted Talk by Julia Bacha – amazing coincidence (as all coincidences are!). While she speaks about paying attention to non-violence in a larger global context, it got me thinking about what are some of the things that I pay attention to - as a friend, a mother, a wife, a professional, a citizen on the road. How many times do things that are going all wrong or not meeting my expectations or demanding more that I can give take up my mind space? People around me not living upto my expectations of them – it could be my family, my colleagues, my friends, the security at my gate or even the car driver on the road. And as I nurture all these incidents and experiences with my attention, I know it leaves that much less time for all the things that are truly wonderful, that energise me, that are working out even beyond my own expectations!

Also, inside of myself, what are some of the things I pay attention to? How many conversations have I had just in the last week bemoaning to everyone who cares to listen about my thyroid condition? Or how the noise levels at work are completely driving me up the wall! Or even highlighting how little time I spend on myself? Oh the time i spent delving on anger, disappointment, a sense of inadequacy. And at the asme time, how i miss paying attention to all the wonderful blessings, the things that are working just fine, the moments that give me energy, love, understanding and just pure joy!

The questions that I therefore ask of myself: can I spend a little more time telling the husband of all the thoughtful little things he does around the house rather than the things i feel he does not do? Or let the little one know how much I enjoy her humming to herself more than reminding her to speak softly to mamma! And reach out to commend that teacher sitting in the sandpit fully present to the child instead of complaining of the noise during playtime? Also loving my body more for all the times it wakes up feeling energised, healthy and hopeful instead of feeling frustrated about why it won’t fit into those jeans I bought last year! Finally paying less attention to moments I feel small or inadequate to the times I feel more whole and complete and filled with life!

And I know this to be true - when I pay attention to all these within myself, and when I highlight these in my relationships and other spaces, it will automatically put the things that seem all wrong in the right perspective!

A gift from a stranger

Bird of Paradise - that's what this exotic flower is called.

I didn't know this till a got a call from a stranger some 10 years back on valentine day's eve. Just having moved to Bangalore, I was helping ma-in-law manage her gifting business since the orders seem to be pouring in that day.

So this stranger asked me if i knew what a bird of paradise was. My response - sir we deliver only flowers, not pets (!!). He patiently explained that he as indeed asking for a flower. I said I could check with my florist (and discovered that he was right after all!)

Anyway, the order i finally got from this gentleman - two birds of paradise - one big for his wife and one small one for his 2 year old daughter. (Well, we didn't get two flowers of different sizes so we just ended up trimming the stalk for the little one)

Since then, every time i see this flower - it reminds me about this stranger - a loving husband, a thoughtful father - and that brings a smile to me! It's amazing how random strangers can touch our lives without ever knowing it.....

On vulnerability

An inspiring talk by Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability - that also inspired me to break the shell and re-start blogging :). hope my friends and family enjoys it as much as I did:

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html