To a very special person on her very special day

Her eyes are what come to mind when i think of her. Happy, shiny eyes when she flashes her dimpled smile; tired, puffy eyes as she works on her laptop. Passionate, steadfast eyes as she makes her point in discussions and unwavering,intense eyes as she listens to you making yours.

What i value most about her is the profound honesty she brings into every relationship in her life. (the very same honesty i find annoying at times when all i want to do is wallow in self pity but she won't allow me to!)

What i find touching about her is her calm dignity as she works to better herself in her personal and professional space.

I am inspired by her sustained efforts to go that extra mile - be it meeting challenges at work, or taking care of her health or her wanting to contribute to the world in ways that she finds meaningful. Her focus on her goals. Her unabashed confession about her levels of ambition. Seeing her ways of being, i am driven to fight my own self-limiting beliefs and be a better person.

I enjoy the way she has a way with words - be it when she is talking or writing.

I feel honoured when she appreciates something i do.

I celebrate the telepathic connection i have with her in ways that i don't have in other close relationships of mine.

I am astounded by her capacity to hold her pain and her struggles. And by the deep caring she holds underneath her practical, no-nonsense self.

It is so gratifying to see her extend all her love, her warmth, her caring to my daughter even as she lives across the seven seas! i am delighted to see glimpses of her in my little daughter - the way she persists in her point of view, the way she uses sound reasoning to help me get her point of view or simply in the way her eyebrows go up when she is intensely involved in a discussion!

But what i am most thankful for is that she is part of my world as my friend, my critic, my confidant, my sister.

As she celebrates her birthday today - here's wishing her a fabulous, blissful year ahead....dear oni - may you have many more sunny days, lesser meetings at work, healthier plants in your garden, shorter catan games, coordinated moves on the gym floor, long drives to newer places, fun-filled treks with good friends, and may all your deepest dreams come true this new year of your life! I love you :)

I am 4!

We celebrated Nia's 4th birthday last weekend. It is probably the most planned event of the year. She starts in June when she first wishes her maamu (mom's brother) a happy birthday. Then sets in the depression: "how come maamu has his birthday so soon and i have to wait till December?" It does not particularly help than most of us in the family have our birthdays thru June, July, August and September! So the only way to counter the depression is to encourage her planning for her December birthday. Though not much of the planning helps since it is only Nia doing the planning (mommy and daddy like most parents wake up a week before the D-day). What does help is that the cake never changes - its always yellow cake with red cherries on top :)

Finally a week before the birthday, Nia woke up every single morning all bright eyed saying "ah! my birthday is so close now!" And then finally the D-day when she was actually up by 5:00 AM dancing around the house! It's hard to not allow that enthusiasm to rub on you right from June onwards! All the discussions, the guest list, the things she wants many a times are part of our bedtime conversation. Gifts she wants are very simple - winnie the pooh cutlery and her favourite brand of chocolates for breakfast was all she asked this year. And yet the sheer pleasure of seeing how much this day means to her and how much she loves herself!

Keeping up with the Dora theme of her life, we decided to take her camping to a place close by (thanks to a friend who could organize it for us). Nia had a great time and the next morning she sleepily murmured "i am 4" before disappearing into the sleeping bag. I kept lying down looking at my little baby, thankful for what her presence has meant to me. So what has turning 4 meant to my baby? What has changed in the last one year for her? Her confidence at taking on people. Defiance when asked to do something she does not want to. Fascination for writing - she went thru a phase of "2 is so difficult" to actually enjoying scribbling 8 all over the place. Increased interest in mythology. Putting in effort to speak grammatically correct sentences. Her willingness to be a little more independent in doing her chores. The thrill she gets in wearing traditional clothes. Also nail paint and lipstick. A strong view that girls are nice and boys are naughty.

I also see a lot of things that have not changed for her since the last one year. A fascination for language. Talking loudly. Her attachment to me. Looking forward to evenings with my neighbour. Trying hard to reason out with us to win an argument. Her amazing ability to move on when someone lets her down. Her tantrums when she is refused a chocolate before dinner. Asking for jeera goli and Gems every time she gets to make a wish. Connecting everything that happens in real life to her own imaginary world in a place she calls Jamma where she lives with her girl husband, 8 daughters and 2 sons. Her fear that people will think she is a boy if she wears pants. Her pretend shy look when she meets new people. Love for chocolates. Not wanting to go to school - making up reasons right from there's a festival at home today to i want to visit oni-ma in Seattle. Her daily dose of one story and one song before bedtime. And of course, her disappointment that she is born in the last month of the year!

But the one thing that stays the same, for which i am most grateful, is her absolute willingness to share her world with me - be it through her questions, her thoughts, her reactions and her wishes. Thanks to her willing and open sharing, i too am challenged to look at my life, my ways and my perspectives. And in her sharing, I too have grown and today am a proud 4-year old mamma!