Had a very interesting conversation today around what a vacation holds for us. A conversation very relevant because this week for the first time in my life i am going on a solo holiday to Goa. A permission i could give myself because the daughter is away on her own holiday with people i love and trust. And because i am exhausted and drained to my very bones.
As much as I am excited with the idea, of being in a quiet place, close to water, there are countless what ifs buzzing thru my head. What if this holiday does NOTHING to re-energize me? What if i am unable to take myself to the pool? What if i crash badly one of the days? What if I feel sick because yet again i have taken recourse to food to numb myself? What if the work waiting to be finished when I get back makes me deeply regret taking this much needed break?
And as I lay out these What ifs, the other person asks me gently - What if you drop all the agenda, the structure and stay in the moment? What if this holiday is nothing but an attempt towards discovery? What if all i did was stay in the now and see what emerges - how i feel, what i think and simply notice?
And though all she asked me were questions - they strangely seemed to answer my own What ifs!
